The Silence of the Vuvuzelas

The sports world will never be the same since the 2010 Fifi World Cup introduced the auditory excitement to the world. Tried watching the British open, and even the wind couldn't hide the lack of vuvuzela excitement, nor could cries of, "Get it in the hole."

I for one will support the promotion of the crazy plastic horn at American events from now forth. Flushing Meadows this Labor Day will be the test case of stateside vuvu-prowess. Don't let the authorities ban the horn, we have First Amendment rights here in the United States of America. I'm no lawyer, but I believe it covers expressions of the horn.

World Cup 2010 Comprehensive Update

"Enough with the bloody BEE-HORNS!!"

Your World Cup Headquarters

"The Moss Problem" is YOUR World Cup Headquarters!

Check back every five minutes for complete up-to-date 2010 World Cup news, scores, predictions, and analysis. Our complete staff of soccer enthusiasts will tell you who is going win and why, and then examine the results in meticulous depth.

Tired of watching your lo-def TV coverage? Do you wonder why it sounds like you're listening to it through a metal vacuum cleaner extension? We at "The Moss Problem" LOVE that sound. We've found that you can listen to reruns of "Win, Lose, or Draw" down a metal vacuum cleaner extension and it has the same energy and excitement of World Cup soccer!

Check back for recaps and analysis, interesting anecdotes, and insider human interest stories about recent match-ups.

Today's conservative prediction (though please don't hold us accountable when gambling):

USA - 34
England - 28