The Moss Problem: Unfunny

Showing posts with label Unfunny. Show all posts

Monday, September 11, 2017

TACTICS II [1958] - PARODY

Its A New Day!

Its a new day At Burger King!If Double Crossaintwhch and a steaming cup of Seattles Best coffee doesn’t set you on your way, Stop at Midmorning for a some Fresh Apple Frieds or Funnel Cake Sticks!Doctor said “cool it” with the lunchtimes?Tendercrisop Garden Salad might be “the way to go” or if your hungrier Tendergill Garden Salad!And for those Midafternoon two hours until “quitting time” blues, pick-up Crispy Tender New Chicken Tenders available in four eight or twenty pieces and “Hersheys” Sundae Pie will chase aways those blue!Don’t stop here because its Dinnertime for the Steakhouse Extreme-T-Burger will compete as well as the A-1 Stuffed Steakhouse, or Tripple Wopper!But remember it takes two hands to have it your way!Now and soon at Burger King!

Mission Statement

Welcome to The Moss Problem! What is it? Rather than laying out a mission statement, or some kind of lofty proposal of intent, I think it would be best to just let The Moss Problem define itself as time goes on. We admittedly have some ridiculously ambitious speculations for ourselves. I have, however, found that laying the groundwork for a spectacularly embarrassing failure is no way to guarantee success. Three tragic weddings have convinced me of that. No, I firmly believe that success or lack of success have more to do with the present-- the day to day battles, or crushing defeats, or comebacks, or losses, or breakthroughs-- than it does with any plans for the future (or dwellings on the past).

Back in Los Angeles, editing a new "magazine" published by my friends Randy and Kate Moss, a couple of real troublemakers who kind of picture themselves as... well, I'd better not say it. But they don't want this to be about them, not at all. I shouldn't have even mentioned them, but they did say it was okay to use their names (but no pictures) as the backers of this venture. Anyway, as far as "magazine" goes, all they told me is that they want to be wide open to what that means. It could be like a quarterly, a literary journal, a tabloid or a glossy newsstand publication, or a "zine" or a phonograph record. The only thing they are discouraging, at least at the outset, is any kind of compact disc, CD or DVD, and any comparison to Mr. Unmentionable and his Unmentionable Unmentionables. I'm sorry to be vague, but those are the rules. Other than that-- no rules. No ideas about frequency or size, content or format-- and what really excites me is the possibility of coming up with some format, technique, INVENTION that has yet to be invented, thought of, or even imagined.

If all of that sounds a little INSANE, well, you probably don't know the Moss family. This is actually fairly grounded and concrete for the Mosses. And even more so because what we are starting with, HERE, is an online journal, and that's a nice place to start. Something you can find, access, and read, for free, and something that we are able to create or destroy at a moment's notice.

The Mosses and I decided this would be a very good place to start, because it is our shared position that we are now witnessing the death of cinema, rock'n'roll, and books. And with every death comes a (re)birth-- but of what? (As far as I can tell right now, maybe only more ways to spend more on less.) I know it sounds absurd, and this is the last time I'll state it in such simplistic terms, choosing to create an ongoing body of evidence instead in these very pages-- but not just an argument, or a declaration-- hopefully, as well, a celebration, a wake, a condemnation, and a call to arms (well, maybe not arms).

I remain,

Anthony Franciosa

The Moss Problem

Monday, September 11, 2017

TACTICS II [1958] - PARODY

Which is Better? POLL:

Moss Problem Table of Contents

© Notice

Note from the Editor

Search with GOOOOOOGLE

Contributors

Its A New Day!

YOUR AD HERE

It's TIME for something "NEW"

CIA

Links

Toilet Reading

Blog Archive

Where can I find it?

Who is the best receiver in the NFL?

Mission Statement

Debt Clock

The Moss Problem

Monday, September 11, 2017

TACTICS II [1958] - PARODY

Which is Better? POLL:

Moss Problem Table of Contents

© Notice

Note from the Editor

Search with GOOOOOOGLE

Contributors

Subscribe to The Moss Problem

Its A New Day!

YOUR AD HERE

It's TIME for something "NEW"

CIA

Links

Toilet Reading

Blog Archive

Where can I find it?

At your doorstep!

Who is the best receiver in the NFL?

Mission Statement

Debt Clock