Review of Latest Credit Card Offer

Credit Card offer from "First PREMIER" Bank of mythical Sioux Falls SD arrived in my mailbox, boasting "60 second online credit approval." This is the worst one yet. They keep getting worse. It could be interesting to see how bad they eventually will get. I guess someday some men will arrive in person with a shackle, ball and chain -- the choice being to work on jack-hammering the street without food or water until I perish -- or simply be killed immediately.

Anyway, this offer requires a $175 Annual Fee for the first year, and after that the annual fee dips down to only $49 a year -- though there is a $14.50 a month Servicing Fee. As bad as that sounds it is nothing compared to the APR for purchases -- 38%!! My Shylock offers better rates!

Using my math skills, a quick calculation of this offer projects me, by the end of the year, taking a second job for sub-minimum wage at the last remaining Port Authority district "Male Room" poop eating matinee just so I don't get my 3G Smiley repossessed.

Review of My Microwave, c. 2112

Things are sure groovy in 2112, not at all like portrayed on that album by that band RUSH,  back in like NINETEEN Seventy-something. Though I have to say, there hasn't been another drummer since who can match Neil Peart! Plus, I think he wrote the lyrics, and while most of it was laughably wrong, he was totally right on about the Priests of the Temples of Syrinx!

Anyway, it's cool there are no more wars or disease, and everyone's pretty cool about everything, really. My only complaint is that when my microwave is done cooking something it beeps like 150 TIMES! (Not sure how many, exactly, I never counted.) It's really annoying.

Something I Thought I'd Never See

Here I was in New York City, walking around, and then I see this sign on a corner store that shocked me. It was an advertisement for Marlboro, and it said: "Special Price - $9.00!" Special price? $9.00?!? Okay, so I've been living under a rock. But still... it's shocking.

Has the psychology of the cigarette smoker changed considerably now that his product has doubled, tripled, quadrupled... what do call it when something has elevated TEN times? Is is still possible to "bum" a cigarette? Is anyone at all, under these dire economic conditions, going to START smoking?

I don't love cigarettes, or smoking, or tobacco companies, or even the idea of smoking. I haven't for a long time. But this reminds me of that scene in Soylent Green where the guy has a jar of strawberry preserves and explains that cost $50!