Best Restaurants 2007

The best Mexican restaurant in Milwaukee whose name I can't remember someone please help me out and I'll edit this I can't even search for it because all you get is those bullshit melted orange cheese and Koolade margarita places!

Fili's Family Restaurant - Cudahy, WI - best breakfast buffet EVER.

Ikea Cafe - multiple locations, for when nothing but lingonberries will satisfy you.

Paul's Omega, S. 27th, Milwaukee - best low impact art experience south of Alpine Village.

Alpine Village, Mequon, WI - best art experience anywhere if you include the schaum torte.

Chet Morton's Steakhouse, Bayport - it's no "mystery" why this is on the list.

Plaza Cafe, Milwaukee - just because if it wasn't there, there would be nowhere to eat breakfast in the entire 53202 zipcode.

No Room 4 Dessert, no locations - who needs dessert anyway.

Bayview Family Restaurant, Milwaukee - cheapest and best homefries (with onions) in the "american fries" region.

Roundy's Ruth's Chris Steakhouse, everywhere - the expected dip in quality did not happen, though the possible merger with WA Mutual Bank has us worried.

Beans and Barley, Milwaukee - first place in my experience that's been able to make sandwiches with gluten-free bread. Also, Frank S.

Plop, New Haven - who would have thought that formless comfort food could come in so many shades of brown?

Bombay Sweets, Milwaukee - the only place in Milwaukee to get Indian food under $100.

The Train Bar, Milwaukee - because I love a good myth (I still don't believe it ever existed) and have heard of no Haunchyville eatery as of yet.

Pretend, New York City - saw Chan Marshall there last week!

Conejito's, Milwaukee - eat there now before it gets moved to the Smithsonian!

Les is More, Brooklyn - just goes to show how wrong you can be. (That's a Lou Reed quote, and Les is More is closed.)

Reben Luncheonette, Brooklyn - my new hangout.

Best Books of 2007

Fischer's War by Lei Marx
Interrogatives by Lance White Thurman
Deadly Meditation by Michael Pope
The Plural Principle by R.E.I. Kranz
Purring by Wang Newton
The Book of Andy by Andrew Brisket
Paranormal Jesus by Brian Banov
Burned Out by B. Sophie Dance
Conversion Therapy by Michelle Chiggar-Valdez
To Enter The Building by P. Clumm
Hill & Wing by Eustice Richardson
A Tisket A Tasket A Murder by Elaine Plover Churchill
Along The Road by T.M. Copp
Rhymes With Baghdad by Christopher Lorenzo


--Allison Pripet

Best Music of 2007

"K —12" album, vinyl only, by April 15
"That Makes Me Puke, This Makes Me Pee" song by Vanessa Di Ambrose
"You Can Learn English!" MP3 by Feji
"Allergic to Houndstooth" CD by Trisdam White, Jr.
"Whet Dreamz" box set by MegaMillionz
"Fiasco Fiasco" CD by The Molotov Martinis
"Every Time I Make You Cry" song by the Hoodie String Pullers
"Wet Fartz Theme" download by the Wet Fartz
"My Head Almost Came Off" video by Portable Sound Laboratories
"Hedging (Dance Mix)" extended 12" vinyl 45 by DjHi
"Dotting My T's" CD by Cross-eyed Charles


S. Katona

Best Television of 2007

Note: I find nothing so addictive and depressing as sitting with a TV remote and hundreds of stations on cable and going through them one by one. It makes me terribly afraid of the end of civilization and also long for it.

I decided, finally, what I needed to do is go on a marathon TV binge, see what is out there, and then never watch TV again. Here is a list, in no particular order, of the best, the worst, and since I don't have to decide, I won't.

Scratching Post
City Desk
American Meltdown
Pack Rats!
your dumber then a stump
A Roll In My Wool
Agony of Defeat
19 Century Viceroys
Uma Makeovers
Hangin' Judge
Eat Bugs 4 Buck$
Youtube Theatre
Fuzz Busterz
Nancy Drew (hearts) Scooby-Doo
Marlin Perkins Smackdown
American Mess
Crotch Busters (Caught On Video)
From The Jaws of Victory
Tale of Two Dorms
This Old Box
Angela Lansbury Always
Judge Reinhold
Lottery Follies
Fashion No-No's
Crack Neighbors
Busted Again! (On Tape)
Anal Nightingale
Married 4-Ever


--Randy Russell

Top Movies of 2007

Top Ten and then some. In order of good to awesome.

Michael Picasso
Royal Person Inside
Pretty Girl Costumes
Make
Quotitdian Now!
Revising Emily
True Red
The Emulsifiers
Gravelly Witherspoon
Irish Recovery
Twisting Alabama
American Hottie
The Desk and the Microscope
The Last Great Mid-October
Reuniting Charlie Goodspeed
1000 Dull Moments

Year End Best Of Lists

We would like to include some year end "best of" lists for 2007. I realize that most publications release those lists sometime in December, and the reason for that is no secret: it's all about selling products at Christmastime. If you, as an artist, happen to come out with something between, say, December 15 and the end of the year, however, you're kind of screwed in the "best of" department. Also, a lot of "best of" lists, naturally, are weighed toward the end of the year. It's not really fair to make those lists, say, on the same day you have just seen a new movie or heard a new record-- of course that's going to be more prominent in your mind. And as far as books go, obviously, one needs a few days to read it.

That's why I argue that January is the month for "best of" lists for the previous year. Some of our writers will (hopefully) be presenting such lists in the coming weeks. Hopefully our readers will weigh in as well.

Oh, and a fifteen day late HAPPY NEW YEAR from Kate, Randy, myself, and everyone else here at THE MOSS PROBLEM.

AF

MEMO: note to writers

Please note: it is not necessary to write the TYPE of review as part of the TITLE (i.e. "MUSIC REVIEW: Beck Further Plagues Us With His Damn Self"). We trust our readers to figure out what it is that's being reviewed. And in the instances that they can't, that's kind of interesting in itself.

I realize that it might be more appropriate to discuss this with an interoffice memo. But we have no secrets here at The Moss Problem. In fact, it might be as good a time as any to discuss pay cuts with writers. The $1 per word fee is going to have to be cut drastically (really drastically, I'm afraid) (don't make me spell it out) until if figure out what the hell is happening with this divorce settlement. For now, anyway, write what about what you love (or hate) for love, and you will be rewarded with love, and the world will be filled with love (except for the world of Tony's Marriage).

love,

Anthony Franciosa, Editor

Sports: NFL Playoffs

I could talk about how disillusioned I was when the Boston Patriots became the New England Patriots when I was 11. It's been on again off again with sports and me ever since. I've been paying a little attention, however, to the Patriots this year, mostly because one of our esteemed founders, Randy Moss, is playing. If you don't know, the "Pats" haven't lost a game all year. That rarely happens. If you hate the Pats, as it is easy to do, you now can hope for one thing: they make it to the Superbowl, then lose the final game! I'm trying to think of a tragic equivalent for that, in sports or otherwise, but I can't!

Aside from all this, the one interesting thing I noticed in the one game I watched is that New England quarterback Tom Brady seemed to have been amplified. I've always said that the next frontier in televised sports is sound-- good onfield mics would change the way we view the game. The only reason they don't do it yet is because the profanity and its relationship to image. In one game, however, I seemed to notice this intensified sound. It was really nice-- it added a sense of urgency and excitement that's missing more and more as televised sports increasingly resemble video games.

The amazing thing I noticed in that game was that Tom Brady seemed to be yelling out his counts (and whatever else it is that quarterbacks seem to yell) in GERMAN! Is he German and I just always assumed he wasn't? How does the team understand him? Anyway, it sounds pretty aggressive and scary, and I think it must scare the shit out of opponents.