Movie Review: SUNSHINE

I am a sucker for science fiction movies, but why not? I'm a boy, a nerd, I saw 2001 when I was a little kid, Star Wars when I was 16, Blade Runner when it came out at the Akron Civic Theatre, and Alien (and even Aliens and Alienses) certainly helped to keep alive the sci-fi movie-going experience. Though seeing Solaris as an adult kind of raised my standards a little, but still-- I can go to a theater on a hot summer day and enjoy a pretty average science fiction movie, you know, as long as there are some space ships, maybe, space suits, airlocks, flashing lights, people getting sucked into the vacuum of space-- all that terrifying, hard to imagine, easy to imagine stuff.

Sunshine has all of that and more, but too much more. It starts out really good, with a space ship traveling to the sun to explode a huge nuclear bomb in order to kind of "reignite" the sun. Probably not a premise anyone who took an astronomy class would buy, but who cares? Oh, and I forgot to add-- it's summer, now, and the movie was playing at the great, old Oriental Theatre in Milwaukee, and so, you know, it's the whole experience. And I really like that title: Sunshine. In like the third scene there was sudden cut to a violent fight between two of the crew members, and one of the women crew members kind of yawned and said something very funny, and I kind of fell in love with the movie right then.

So it took a lot, after all the action and suspense, and some more good premises, and the planet Mercury-- all of it enjoyable-- it took quite a LOT to ultimately make me HATE this movie. I mean, I don't know how I would've ended the goddamn thing, but it sure as FUCK would not have been with FREDDY KRUEGER showing up out of nowhere to stalk and slash the remaining characters! Yeah, you think I'm joking-- okay, go see the movie. All of the talking to God himself wasn't going to save the movie at that point.

I even ducked out of the theater, so embarrassed was I by the credits, you know, that way you don't want to run into someone you know, because you both feel implicated in the creation of BAD ART. I went home and watched the second half of some absurd Star Trek episode to help cleanse my palate. Spock was making out with some hot woman in a meadow, and Kirk was all alone on the Enterprise, with some weird vines being pulled along with almost invisible thread. Their special effects budget is like ten dollars, it's often pretty corny, but I keep watching it because there is always the chance I'll get carried away by a good story.

CD Review: Christopher O'Riley "Home to Oblivion"

When a guy whose music you really like, like Elliott Smith, dies, you try to find everything you can find by him. This CD from 2006 is a "tribute" to Elliott Smith-- it is many of his songs interpreted on solo piano, by this guy, O'Riley, who obviously loved Elliott Smith music. I suppose it is pretty beautiful, and somewhat disturbing. But somehow, I don't care.

I suppose the ideal way to hear this record is to not be familiar with Elliott Smith songs, and to just hear this as solo piano music, oblivious to where the compositions came from. You might grow to love it. At least, over time, you would know it. Then you discover the Elliott Smith versions. That could be an amazing experience! But it's not going to happen for me.

Maybe I'm just mad because this guy can play the piano and I can't. Or maybe I just had one too many broken tortellini and weak espresso in the hot, smoky winds of this town where Elliott Smith's ghost has escaped from, but I'm back, like Jay Leno's most pathetic guest.

CD Review: ARCADE "Arcade"

I got this CD to review thinking it was that band Arcade Fire, or someone like that-- a current popular band-- Panic in the Arcade? Something like that. What exactly is an arcade? Well, it's nothing more than a walkway covered with arches-- which is pretty cool-- so I guess it's an okay band name. It's more specific than if you called your band "Hallway."

My first experience with an arcade was the Penny Arcade at Cedar Point, the Midwest amusement park. I was always fascinated with that place, but returning years later, I realized it wasn't the games that I loved, it was the intricate vaulted ceiling in this place. It's quite spectacular. When they tear THAT down (please tell me they haven't) that park will be finally all but dead to me.

Back to the CD, it's heavy metal, and from 1993, which in rock terms is ancient history. Not bad for heavy metal, it kind of sounds like 2nd-rate Aerosmith. But even cut-rate Aerosmith is better than 99 percent of the bands out there. But next time, you know, I'm going to be a little more careful while shopping!