Monday, July 30, 2007

Movie Review: SUNSHINE

I am a sucker for science fiction movies, but why not? I'm a boy, a nerd, I saw 2001 when I was a little kid, Star Wars when I was 16, Blade Runner when it came out at the Akron Civic Theatre, and Alien (and even Aliens and Alienses) certainly helped to keep alive the sci-fi movie-going experience. Though seeing Solaris as an adult kind of raised my standards a little, but still-- I can go to a theater on a hot summer day and enjoy a pretty average science fiction movie, you know, as long as there are some space ships, maybe, space suits, airlocks, flashing lights, people getting sucked into the vacuum of space-- all that terrifying, hard to imagine, easy to imagine stuff.

Sunshine has all of that and more, but too much more. It starts out really good, with a space ship traveling to the sun to explode a huge nuclear bomb in order to kind of "reignite" the sun. Probably not a premise anyone who took an astronomy class would buy, but who cares? Oh, and I forgot to add-- it's summer, now, and the movie was playing at the great, old Oriental Theatre in Milwaukee, and so, you know, it's the whole experience. And I really like that title: Sunshine. In like the third scene there was sudden cut to a violent fight between two of the crew members, and one of the women crew members kind of yawned and said something very funny, and I kind of fell in love with the movie right then.

So it took a lot, after all the action and suspense, and some more good premises, and the planet Mercury-- all of it enjoyable-- it took quite a LOT to ultimately make me HATE this movie. I mean, I don't know how I would've ended the goddamn thing, but it sure as FUCK would not have been with FREDDY KRUEGER showing up out of nowhere to stalk and slash the remaining characters! Yeah, you think I'm joking-- okay, go see the movie. All of the talking to God himself wasn't going to save the movie at that point.

I even ducked out of the theater, so embarrassed was I by the credits, you know, that way you don't want to run into someone you know, because you both feel implicated in the creation of BAD ART. I went home and watched the second half of some absurd Star Trek episode to help cleanse my palate. Spock was making out with some hot woman in a meadow, and Kirk was all alone on the Enterprise, with some weird vines being pulled along with almost invisible thread. Their special effects budget is like ten dollars, it's often pretty corny, but I keep watching it because there is always the chance I'll get carried away by a good story.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I should have read your review before I watched this piece of crap. I got it from netflix and it pissed me off I pulled the disc from the player and frisbeed it into the wall where it stuck so thoroughly I had to report it as never arriving in the mail. I love netflix! The only thing that could have saved this movie is if it ended with a version of "Don't Let The Sun Go Down On Me" while hallucinatory images of George Michael giving Elton John a blowjob flashed on the screen. No, even that wouldn't have saved it.