MADDOX! YOUR FUTURE!

The TV stations stop broadcasting, the radio stations sign off, the police force resigns and the fire department doesn't respond to alarms. The electric utilities and the phone companies give up, all banks fail, all grocery stores declare bankruptcy. Teenagers systematically lay torches to the subdivisions, door-to-door salesman take up serial murder, and you're making love to your boss in a fast-food toilet stall. You're finally happy. The Best Page in the Universe!

THE STORY OF THE NIGHT

The sun goes down and I hit the ground and I'm almost happy that's the way I want to be. At 4 a.m. I stood in front of the Coke Machine Now and at the Hour of Our Death. It snowed from two to four then rained from four to six. I laid awake stunned to discover that Catwoman might be the best movie I've ever seen. Witnessed Cincinnati Police Division commit murders to the Harper's Bizarre version of "Feelin' Groovy." Rumored soundtrack to tonight's "Unsolved Homicides" is "Red Rubber Ball" by the Cyrkle. An Ordinary Late Winter Morning in a Worthless Ohio Town.